Ding Dong the Witch errr i mean the boss is here!!

" An Evil Boss",The one supreme being who has the same impact on our life that  a Black cat crossing ones path or 13th Friday has .They have the power to ravage our worlds with a pinch of salt..We are in a game of   treasure hunt,where the treasure is hidden  inside the crocodiles mouth.   In My Entire work experience i have had around 8 different bosses(fortunate me),  most of them were either lunatics or looked like straight out of the era of the Apache's..We  detor ourselves to be rowdy & aggressive, but that is   when they take  the nerves out of us.We are  hardworking individual, that doesnt mean ul put a straw and suck our blood(in any case u are a Dracula).Their evilness comes in its full power when your appraisal arrives .Their comes such kokky reasons for not being  aprraised,  like once I was told  that    the table wasnt  alligned properly  during the training session(Sick*)or because u wore a red polish in your office, decent professional women dont do this .At the time of appraisals We are actually summoned for all the erratic,Crafty reaons that sounds like a  staright smack on your face.You become a puppy eyed poverty stricken fellow, looking for all the world's mercy begging  for all your fictitious  evil deeds.

 My First boss  was a  pout oval   faced & dome shaped women  with  long littered hair & a nonsensical  dressing sense .The most bizarre part  about her was  a flashbulb memory that was a pain for everyone.She  had a  wreckless attitude which was a little too much  on mondays (what we assumed was because of her wrestled sundays with her husband) & was a psycho too( psychos fill notebooks with newspaper headlines).The  trip  with her was a short one(i was truly blessed!!) , considering the unbalanced lady she was.The next was Shukla ji (a nasty kinky fellow ) who had all sort of  outrageous  cheesy lines in store  from "manorama magazine"  & who  utilized  it every now & then .What irritated most about him was, after 15 years of working he had no inkling of  how to create a zipped folder.A person with an unchangeable mindset considered  working  more on papers than latest technology("Hum longon ko  ye hi-Tech cheezein samjh nehi aati" Grrrrrrr).The third was a  women with  authentic haryanvi accent & taste.With a  voice  that simulated  a bunch of wrestlers & a manlike body  fitted in  Salwar Kameez, working under her  was  like  a monarchy where  the   slaves are at bay to  follow orders .The definition of Modernized  for her was never about looking or feeling good,but how bloomingly are  you able to dictate your subordinates & seniors.The last  but the most alluring one  was a less brutal  but   a lustful maniac, who was always  in search for his prospective bride(bonker**).Such was the anxiety that it always was  a discomfit situation for all his spinster  subordinates.A Lewd man, whose position gave him a lot  of  scope for new recruits & who went a little too far with all the hanky panky stuff   ;).

Ya people  they were my bosses & they havent arrived in a UFO or from kingseat Hospital but hail  from this real world.I doubt if any of  these  bosses may  make a  human remain normal   throughout their life.  To save ourselves  from such strenuous situation, we need to understand what type of crazy person are we dealing with & secondly  establish boundaries to save our own right-mindedness.Moving the radar to the culprits i say that   my  Respected  Bosses, You have full privileges  to complain about all wrongs but please  dont rule us.We are here working for the organisation as you and are getting paid as you.We would love if its kept that way and not make it a constant battle so that both of us remain sane & professional throughout the journey.....Thankyou!! :)

Excuse Me ,you dont know me,but why are you still single?

I never understood my country's obsession with marital status and  having kids .Its contemplated as  a misdeed after 30 to stay single or without kids .Ours is  a  modern, yet puzzled  society ambushed between modernity and stagnation.  The norms for these factors  have been laid  & followed since  medieval period,  the  aunties  who are the Marraige & maternity Policy administartion Head have taken the burden to see that they are meticulously followed .Anyone whose not abiding by the norms get a verbal  memorandum issued at all social functions .

  A few days back  while attending   a marraige ceremony an aunt   of a friend of mine asked the but obvious question "beta shaddi kab hui? and i with a expected reply  answered "aunty three years back  " and then i get a  preplex  expression with  "beta  have kids den other wise it will be late in life ...we are there too look after the baby  ? and with a smiling lips i am   Like  "Aunty why dont you get a life,and if you dont have one let me have one(Ofcourse i dint say this but this was what was  going in my head).One thing i would  surely love to do, bring the baby  and hand over to the aunty since  she was so  keen to look after. These aunties  have  pestered  with aforesaid questions again &  again .To accord I  too have prepared myself with some amusing answers   & once when asked i was like "Who knows  may be im pregnant?"& the best one  was   "could you draw a picture of how to get one" ;P

 The frivolous Sharma & Verma Aunties care for the entire worlds marraiges & Kids rather there own.They  have a 500 page novel written on suggestions & are prepared to hold a chalk talk anywhere .It gives them  a mammoth of  pleasure, contributing to people whom they are meeting for the first & may be the last time. What they dont understand is that why,Why the hell  would we listen to you when we dont even know u.

I met an  unexampled women who was a distant cousin Aunt of mine & this was my third meeting with her in my thorough  life.The entire evening she interpreted   that how she gave birth to her 5 kids  within 10 years before she turned 30.What could have been the backlashes if   she would have delayed .She feared that she would have  just had 2 girls and the other sons sonu monu & nonu  would have never been born since later she was detected with a cyst .What i thought was  "Aunty wish u would have stopped on the second so the world would have been saved from the 3 unruly punks of yours  .

  Dear Aunties, we beg you to sympathize with us ,We love kids and would love to change diapers &  have one.We very well understand all repercussion attached to everything since we are well educated & informed  individuals .Somehow pistering us in every social function, just worsens the idea of going out there & listening to those who hold least importance in our lifes.So please take a break  and have fun with your children & Grand children pouring  them with all opinions & Guidance  that you have in store.And if they  successfully   follow  even one of them  then  you may please go gaga about it rather then feeding on our brain cells  :)

Planet of the Dipsomaniac

Hey all I'm back on the blog after a longlong  time and this time the topic is an extremely  contentious one."the planet of the alcoholics" .Wait a minute when we talk about alcoholics are we referring to the ones who are casual  drunkers  or who drink sometimes or ones who drink but don't want to be called drunkers or who drink only in night or who drink only in day or who drink the whole day.pheeeww confused actually as these questions actually boggle your mind and literally bewilder you when you dont know them. Brought up in sober family with most of non drunkers have always contemplated boozing as a Sin A crime that is performed by Illiterate,Poor .Extreme Rich who have no inkling as to what they want in life or the  the middle class heartbroken ones pissed of from love,life & the whole universe.
Ok so i do watch a lot of hindi movies since i was a Lad & was totally inspired & thus most of the inferences of particular genres was drawn from their.

Then came the youth my late teens and early twenties.i was bound to behave in a sophisticated yet a fully fledged human who   was able to fit in the aristocracy of my the polite yet meant to be loud society.Boozing was not done for self but for the society rather.We desire to Flaunt how practicable we are who is Twenty but act like thirty year old.Not Drinking at all  is considered Backward or rather a person who takes a back seat in Life. Inspite of all these pre requisites i was still a cold sober women(Ya i wanted to be called one in my early twenties) though the Dismay i faced was lesser cos The Hindi Movies can be wrong a lot of times :D.I started observing a lot of Dipsomaniacs and found one thing universal that they all can be big time Liars.And that they are always in their senses.'When we make mistakes, activity in a part of the brain responsible for monitoring behaviour increases.When we say some can handle it some cannot actually everyone can handle it but some just dont want to follow the carbon routine.

 Surely your Central nervous System gets all Baffled when we  drink but all that comes out is never new rather the past that we have masked  .The supreme segment  about drunkers is when they are all together the earth comprises of  only those fewer lot drunk and everyhting has started from niche & everything they say ought to be true & everything is just how they want.But  heloo to all my not so sober friends  when its nothing in its exterme its just fine.Some people translate beautifully after gulping  a few glasses & thats the best part &  so i Love you all.My  perception of Drinking has surely metemorphised and now  though i dont  personally  drink but love spending a certain fraction  of my life with them.I surely do :)