Always Good ,Always Sane &........Always Online !!

The other day my cook came early and we had a conversation realising the after effects later.

cook:DIDI What do i cook today?

Me:(My eyes immersed on the mobile screen) Check the fridge and make whatever lies there?

Cook: Theres only palak(my husband hates it), & aloo(i hate it) here

Me:(Still Glued to the screen)Make it & im stuck on the phone for the next 1 hour on group chat, with people I haven't met for long and may not meet them in future either.

After an hour i debut of the fools paradise and come to the offline world.To the utter catstrophe, I find a vegetable that could neither be eaten by me or my husband.It sounds sloppy but we are all caught in a stigma, gripped in the tomb of social media where we shank joke of someone or ourselves.

Recently the worldcup happened to which india faced a massive defeat from the aussies.These Matches have been happening since years but such a halla ballo has taken place with the augmentation of the love for Fb & whatsapp . Earlier the game was watched and forgotten in a day.Today Cyber storm has taken it all to a antithetic level.The team and their flings are roasted & bamboozled in videos,pictures,texts everywhere.All this dosent end here but is carried on for another lifespan unless some amusing subject comes up.

It sounds erroneous, but our lives appear superficial & synthetic, were we are doing things to boast & exhibit to others rather than our selves.We appear being caught in a dogma , giving some lame excuse for using word "social" then media to make a habitude of something diseased.Being social would never mean using fb or whatsapp rather a simple text or a call would be better.

My lovingly husband's routine includes 9 hours in office & 6 hours on whatsapp , indeed he has a world of reasons to give for this ailing obsession.My younger female cousins who are in college discuss everything from boys,fashion,books & the entire planet on wass app.I was amazed to find her teaching maths sum's to her friend on what's app.We are so reliant on these apps today that it could be a matter of life & death for us if shutdown.We have reached a stage when if the closure happened it could lead to brain malfunctioning where everybody would be turning into freebie zombies doing nothing.

The flashbacks takes us back to when Birthdays meant getting a call from everyone including those whom distance was just a call away.Wev lost the beauty of talking & listening .From marraige proposals to child birth news , Obituary news to consolation all have been acknowledged only being online .Emotos sticker have become our feelings & we are oblivious about turning into robots who use text & stickers to convey our motility.

Family Disputes are these days showcased through status messages .It appears strange how people are so keen to flag there personal life's , our private lives are no more private. One crazy incident was when a distant cousin of mine had to deliver her baby.Her husband recorded her predeliver actions, and made a video to exhibit on social sites.The video featured her screaming & yelling in labour pain & all I could do was recollect the movie "maniac on the loose"(for the husband) .There are times when sitting in a room with four friends, whom we have been desperate to meet and talk to all this while.When finally together we are buried in our whatsapp with some other's.We have 500 friends on our network and not one whom we could pour our hearts out to.When we are with this we are talking to that and its vis a vis . Iv met a few people who keep refreshing Wass app after every thirty minutes to check all heart breaks & Heart mend status messages.So people we are not social, rather dingy stalkers sitting futile and sneaking everywhere but our own lives.Whatsapp is taking a toll in our life's mentally & we dont realize but slowly and steadily wev been drowning in the never ending Atlantis pothole .

Our ancestors had tail but they never used it , eventually the later generation did not have it, likewise get set for a generations subsequently being born dumb.People pursuing outdoor activities would be given national & international awards .I truly & genuinely long for a day, when the government banishes all social networking sites, for the world to be a better place more natural & normal like the 70's & 80's.Guys if u think whatsApp is taking a toll on u, making ur lyf confined to the online world just delete,delete the god damn account and see what  beauty  are you missing in  life.

Ding Dong the Witch errr i mean the boss is here!!

" An Evil Boss",The one supreme being who has the same impact on our life that  a Black cat crossing ones path or 13th Friday has .They have the power to ravage our worlds with a pinch of salt..We are in a game of   treasure hunt,where the treasure is hidden  inside the crocodiles mouth.   In My Entire work experience i have had around 8 different bosses(fortunate me),  most of them were either lunatics or looked like straight out of the era of the Apache's..We  detor ourselves to be rowdy & aggressive, but that is   when they take  the nerves out of us.We are  hardworking individual, that doesnt mean ul put a straw and suck our blood(in any case u are a Dracula).Their evilness comes in its full power when your appraisal arrives .Their comes such kokky reasons for not being  aprraised,  like once I was told  that    the table wasnt  alligned properly  during the training session(Sick*)or because u wore a red polish in your office, decent professional women dont do this .At the time of appraisals We are actually summoned for all the erratic,Crafty reaons that sounds like a  staright smack on your face.You become a puppy eyed poverty stricken fellow, looking for all the world's mercy begging  for all your fictitious  evil deeds.

 My First boss  was a  pout oval   faced & dome shaped women  with  long littered hair & a nonsensical  dressing sense .The most bizarre part  about her was  a flashbulb memory that was a pain for everyone.She  had a  wreckless attitude which was a little too much  on mondays (what we assumed was because of her wrestled sundays with her husband) & was a psycho too( psychos fill notebooks with newspaper headlines).The  trip  with her was a short one(i was truly blessed!!) , considering the unbalanced lady she was.The next was Shukla ji (a nasty kinky fellow ) who had all sort of  outrageous  cheesy lines in store  from "manorama magazine"  & who  utilized  it every now & then .What irritated most about him was, after 15 years of working he had no inkling of  how to create a zipped folder.A person with an unchangeable mindset considered  working  more on papers than latest technology("Hum longon ko  ye hi-Tech cheezein samjh nehi aati" Grrrrrrr).The third was a  women with  authentic haryanvi accent & taste.With a  voice  that simulated  a bunch of wrestlers & a manlike body  fitted in  Salwar Kameez, working under her  was  like  a monarchy where  the   slaves are at bay to  follow orders .The definition of Modernized  for her was never about looking or feeling good,but how bloomingly are  you able to dictate your subordinates & seniors.The last  but the most alluring one  was a less brutal  but   a lustful maniac, who was always  in search for his prospective bride(bonker**).Such was the anxiety that it always was  a discomfit situation for all his spinster  subordinates.A Lewd man, whose position gave him a lot  of  scope for new recruits & who went a little too far with all the hanky panky stuff   ;).

Ya people  they were my bosses & they havent arrived in a UFO or from kingseat Hospital but hail  from this real world.I doubt if any of  these  bosses may  make a  human remain normal   throughout their life.  To save ourselves  from such strenuous situation, we need to understand what type of crazy person are we dealing with & secondly  establish boundaries to save our own right-mindedness.Moving the radar to the culprits i say that   my  Respected  Bosses, You have full privileges  to complain about all wrongs but please  dont rule us.We are here working for the organisation as you and are getting paid as you.We would love if its kept that way and not make it a constant battle so that both of us remain sane & professional throughout the journey.....Thankyou!! :)

Excuse Me ,you dont know me,but why are you still single?

I never understood my country's obsession with marital status and  having kids .Its contemplated as  a misdeed after 30 to stay single or without kids .Ours is  a  modern, yet puzzled  society ambushed between modernity and stagnation.  The norms for these factors  have been laid  & followed since  medieval period,  the  aunties  who are the Marraige & maternity Policy administartion Head have taken the burden to see that they are meticulously followed .Anyone whose not abiding by the norms get a verbal  memorandum issued at all social functions .

  A few days back  while attending   a marraige ceremony an aunt   of a friend of mine asked the but obvious question "beta shaddi kab hui? and i with a expected reply  answered "aunty three years back  " and then i get a  preplex  expression with  "beta  have kids den other wise it will be late in life ...we are there too look after the baby  ? and with a smiling lips i am   Like  "Aunty why dont you get a life,and if you dont have one let me have one(Ofcourse i dint say this but this was what was  going in my head).One thing i would  surely love to do, bring the baby  and hand over to the aunty since  she was so  keen to look after. These aunties  have  pestered  with aforesaid questions again &  again .To accord I  too have prepared myself with some amusing answers   & once when asked i was like "Who knows  may be im pregnant?"& the best one  was   "could you draw a picture of how to get one" ;P

 The frivolous Sharma & Verma Aunties care for the entire worlds marraiges & Kids rather there own.They  have a 500 page novel written on suggestions & are prepared to hold a chalk talk anywhere .It gives them  a mammoth of  pleasure, contributing to people whom they are meeting for the first & may be the last time. What they dont understand is that why,Why the hell  would we listen to you when we dont even know u.

I met an  unexampled women who was a distant cousin Aunt of mine & this was my third meeting with her in my thorough  life.The entire evening she interpreted   that how she gave birth to her 5 kids  within 10 years before she turned 30.What could have been the backlashes if   she would have delayed .She feared that she would have  just had 2 girls and the other sons sonu monu & nonu  would have never been born since later she was detected with a cyst .What i thought was  "Aunty wish u would have stopped on the second so the world would have been saved from the 3 unruly punks of yours  .

  Dear Aunties, we beg you to sympathize with us ,We love kids and would love to change diapers &  have one.We very well understand all repercussion attached to everything since we are well educated & informed  individuals .Somehow pistering us in every social function, just worsens the idea of going out there & listening to those who hold least importance in our lifes.So please take a break  and have fun with your children & Grand children pouring  them with all opinions & Guidance  that you have in store.And if they  successfully   follow  even one of them  then  you may please go gaga about it rather then feeding on our brain cells  :)

Planet of the Dipsomaniac

Hey all I'm back on the blog after a longlong  time and this time the topic is an extremely  contentious one."the planet of the alcoholics" .Wait a minute when we talk about alcoholics are we referring to the ones who are casual  drunkers  or who drink sometimes or ones who drink but don't want to be called drunkers or who drink only in night or who drink only in day or who drink the whole day.pheeeww confused actually as these questions actually boggle your mind and literally bewilder you when you dont know them. Brought up in sober family with most of non drunkers have always contemplated boozing as a Sin A crime that is performed by Illiterate,Poor .Extreme Rich who have no inkling as to what they want in life or the  the middle class heartbroken ones pissed of from love,life & the whole universe.
Ok so i do watch a lot of hindi movies since i was a Lad & was totally inspired & thus most of the inferences of particular genres was drawn from their.

Then came the youth my late teens and early twenties.i was bound to behave in a sophisticated yet a fully fledged human who   was able to fit in the aristocracy of my the polite yet meant to be loud society.Boozing was not done for self but for the society rather.We desire to Flaunt how practicable we are who is Twenty but act like thirty year old.Not Drinking at all  is considered Backward or rather a person who takes a back seat in Life. Inspite of all these pre requisites i was still a cold sober women(Ya i wanted to be called one in my early twenties) though the Dismay i faced was lesser cos The Hindi Movies can be wrong a lot of times :D.I started observing a lot of Dipsomaniacs and found one thing universal that they all can be big time Liars.And that they are always in their senses.'When we make mistakes, activity in a part of the brain responsible for monitoring behaviour increases.When we say some can handle it some cannot actually everyone can handle it but some just dont want to follow the carbon routine.

 Surely your Central nervous System gets all Baffled when we  drink but all that comes out is never new rather the past that we have masked  .The supreme segment  about drunkers is when they are all together the earth comprises of  only those fewer lot drunk and everyhting has started from niche & everything they say ought to be true & everything is just how they want.But  heloo to all my not so sober friends  when its nothing in its exterme its just fine.Some people translate beautifully after gulping  a few glasses & thats the best part &  so i Love you all.My  perception of Drinking has surely metemorphised and now  though i dont  personally  drink but love spending a certain fraction  of my life with them.I surely do :)

Girls Paradise-Shopping Insanity

I have never felt like this in any given circumstance or condition but there is something about this one thing that acts like a Thai Spa session or an Aroma therapy. No No  i'm not referring to any yoga session  or a  meditation session but to the highly significant Shopping session. It may sound a bit weird  to the Men out there   but its the only stress buster for us  . I know that every single women starting from the age of 16 to 100 would feel the same cause when it 's shopping Age has no boundaries
                     I may be sounding like the "Appu From the Simpsons" but it is  the case with every  women  who always spends far more then she earn's. All Thanks to the modern banks providing the credit card facility which acts as a bliss making all of this possible. Though I can say  that after every credit card bill we pay we swear on our mothers -fathers -husbands to shop half of what we did last month. However it has never been that it would ever have shown a certain increase in our savings account. There's one thing which I need to tell here is that though im  showing so much of negative side for the women as if they are the only one to be blamed.Let me make it clear it's   never the fault of us but always the moron branded companies providing these amazing accessories & making   us accessible  all those that priyanka chopra or Kristen Stewart was wearing on the page 3 cover ,the latest movie or those parties Why?Why?Why? Those out of the world designer dresses that we get at such reasonable prizes(10000 bugs is reasonable if it was worn by Katherine Heigl in Roswell).And those Shoes. Those very amazing colorful pointed stilettoes that makes us looks damn tall & sexy  can never in my dreams think of missing .No Not in the world. There is always this outrageous feeling that if Priya,Sonali,Rea,Ritu(name's of some of my other crazy shopaholics buddies)  if any of them sets eyes on  and buy it before me. I in my imaginary world reach to the place where I see my other alcoholistic ladies bulging and flaunting them .I actually am scared of that aftermath  regret feeling........ that feeling of remorse, sorrow & guilt of not picking the master piece before.

  The  grave momentous  of this utterly significant hobby horse is when comes the most awaited Discount season . The period when we believe to have some pity for our savings account and to save (be careful reading we wish to only, though we never save) .The moment we enter those large sprawling malls and see the price reduction on all our favorites brands which we could buy once in a month or twice may be Charles & keith,Hide design, ALDO,  Gucci, Versace, Nautica and the list goes on and on. Those flat 50%  & how those 4 letter word "FLAT" the significance they have in our lives only heaven & Earth could understand.We are Drawn like bees to honey to everywhere these superlative words appear. We shop Shop Shop and finally we end up shopping 5 times more then we shopped in last  6 months.

You know what......... we do understand everything of that written above & we know in our heads that we are spending way much.Our hearts which is the most Zealous organ makes it all in vain and how  contented & gratified we are after a long shopping session is it only  the heart  knows. It takes away all distress, Heartache ,Pain & gives a sense huge blissfulness. And that's what's more Important to Live, Right??

 So all women  carry on with this hideous job And Live Life to the fullest :) SSSSHHHOOOOPPPP

Micro World to Bigger Globe

 I hail from a small town called Jamshedpur which is a small city in the east state of India.Its been almost 7 years since iv left home & moved to metros to make a career .In the midst of all this got married & Im now a member of this metro city.When I was small I always had this thought of staying in the best city with all aminities.Never thought of the world outside unless & until was actually a part of it.Iv seen girls go crazy and acting weird once they come from a small town to a metro.As if they were criminals imprisoned for life sentence & because of some good deed they are granted an earlier leave .

         It may sound a bit of rude for few but this is a fact experienced specially within the female bracket.Thank God iv always been able to save my self from getting retarted by seeing all the space around. The other thing surprising is that once they land to a metro they remove the small town name from their history of personal Details.Is it a crime to be born in a small town ?? For me Its never about size of the place but the right values & culture that is embedded within you & resistance to stick to them that should be irrespective of any geography.

I had this friend of mine who was from a small but a beautiful city in northern India. However Every other person that she met she gave  name of some different metropolitan city. What I Never understood was if  it was that  serious  offence being from a small town??. This mind set is created by the small towners  who are quiet huge in number.Thousands of people come from different parts of India to study in metros and quite a few remain to their roots actually. They live their 60% life Ashamed...Embarrassed...Trying to shy away  this small town tag which is like a Red mark in their Life's Assessment sheet.

The Big Question is  Will there ever be a Paradigm change to this?????Waiting to see that but haven't met anyone who could change the notion.


            

Introvert-Not My attrribute

Ok so Iv Been dealing with this set of people falling under the category of "Introverts".Earlier I had a feeling of Falling under the same category but as iv grown iv found my self better  than that  or may be evolved in years. As a child I had fewer friends,felt butterflies talking to teachers, Bizarre thoughts came when a extempore session was conducted. I use to shy away from many of my own relatives. Wait a Bit!!!......There is another thought to the same that I did have few but very good friends whom I had an open heart for. There were these category of people whom I could talk till hours and laugh my heart out. Infact for them the word "Introvert"could never go with me. Were these people Extrovert or was I somewehere in the middle.

      Today when I think about the same I feel good because when those people who had seen me from those Introvert eyes are confused & Surprised to be find me better. Though today I am the same  I do get those same shy feeling when talking to someone new . In these 10 years iv learned that there are many who may not fit in your "comfort zone category but we need to adjust "That's Life".Though I would  be lying when I say that "iv an open heart to everyone".No I Don't & Wont ever. Today also I keep getting taunts for not speaking to a certain set of people whom I don't consider that important  to me