Destroying People You Love

You din't love her, she was just good for your ego or maybe she made you feel less miserable about the miserable life that you had. You don’t destroy

 people you love but you destroyed mine. You never loved me, you just wanted a differing gender’s ego gratified or in more precise word an attitudinal demolishing saviour. To save you from your wretched & dejected life that you couldn’t face.

I was born in an evil world full of annoyance, enmity, malice, detachment, rage but no love. You procured this swift wind of small leafy hearts making me realize the existence of   affection, care and passion that I was insensible, insensitive about. However I dint realize how deceptive it was taking a part of me, away from me. Detaching me because of your anger, madness, revenge & above all ego. The ego which took me away from you whom you had once loved genuinely or maybe that’s what I thought. You were alone sad needing a companion to be part of the only sadness of your life. Why you destroyed me? You felt you were changing, you were becoming you. You got to see a world a happier one that you had never wanted to. But you can’t you are born egoistic, arrogant who feels contented in making others crushed sad and lonely. You always wanted one who could be crumpled beneath your heavy pride. You mistook me to be the target of being rubbed along and when you found things going the other way you felt tarnished and mad.

I could have felt less smattered if I could have emerged, emerged from the dualistic identity. The actual reason was I never wanted to be joyful in Life without you. I had changed transpired myself become a human so different from what I was .I dint care cause I was in love but you never  discerned  the same, You are  in a mental state so different so vicious, concerned   only about you.” I love you “Whenever you said this was when you got to satiate your Pride, your self glorification. I gave you the power to destroy me because I was in love trusting you always because that’s what I thought love was all about.  I am being punished every day you know how? I am far from you, detached but you are still on my mind and I still love you. I know I can never be able to start all of this again, never built the same affection for anyone. I don’t want you and I don’t want anyone else  I want to be left out  in solitude  and to be penalized  for the sins of believing &Loving  someone blindly. May you realize it one day but I be no where to return. I am going back to pay for my sins to the dark evil world, to the anguish and the pain, to the mercy and no gain. Never to return.....never ever.

Swimming to the shore

I have been lonely, very lonely since a prolonged time.My parents left me at a tender senelity of 9 years when I was still battling to comprehend everything.Since then till the age I reached my early twenties I never new what like being together was.How a world where more than one individual staying together share a camaraderie of fondness,warmth & endearment work..The words itself were anomalous to me  & slowly I dint want it either. I was quiet convinced that I was one individual who were to have an isolated life forever.I had no friends & was an egotist narci for outsiders creating  a barricade for anyone to intrude in.

        Life was going on at a wearisome steady pace  when suddenly life had some other devastated plans.She appeared like a fresh dew in  life and things metamorphosed. One who was dragging life on fondness for seclusion was now enslaved by the trifling presence of this individual .she made me feel fulfilled,blossoming a bent for life.The best part of all of it was that I felt like I always wanted this.She cared for me like a mother,scolded me like a father,teased me like a friend& loved me like a wife.All those relations which were never meant for me were now  accomplished by  this one individual.We were so much into each other & I was no more the cocooned one.Life was so perfect when  suddenly that one ill-starred day when she met with an accident & was gone forever.Leaving me deserted to  face the demeaned savage truth of this universe .I love her so much how will I reside? .Why have I changed?Why did she come in my life?Why did she leave me?So many Questions,No one to answer. God please let the monstrosity demise me before I confront tomorrow.You cannot recur the same offence with one particular, seizing from  him all that he had.

I am lonely ,lonely again & this time its darker out here.Why darker?because then I was a  too young for making fond memories but this time the memories are carved on my heart & mind.Memories that can never be bygone. The sanity too  has gone with her .I am walking by the seaside when a family asks me to click a photo.The camera makes me remember her she was so fond of getting clicked.And the second meeting when I was still anxious she compelled me to take a pic of ours.I went home took out my mobile and in front of the mirror tried clicking pics of myself.But wait my tears are not stopping .Im eating food and I want someone to put the first  bite of  bread in my mouth.The tears are rolling and the dry bread is  wet.I try reading a book & suddenly wait for somebody to pat my head & snatch the book from my hands.

I try ending life.I take out a blade to cut my veins but alas keep flipping & finally put it off. I go to the lone island and im walking from the side lane into the deepwaters. Im finally going to detach myself from the loneliness & from the reminiscence that gives me so much pain.Im about to get covered with water.When suddenly I feel someones hand on my shoulders.I turn to see & its she draped in haze dust  but disappears very soon.When I turn again I start drowning I pull myself up and start swimming to the shore......

A Life To Live

We want something's to transpire,they don’t. We want something's not to transpire,they do. We gallop from something's, we gallop after something's .We love the materialistic mundane world ,where as  reverential fear makes us love the Almighty .We choose friends we want to be with, a family gives us no choice rather love or obligation's to stay with. The dingy side of life makes us gratified; the lighter one gives us doubts. Life has its own nitty gritty terms we are bulldozed to follow. These terms are never pre hackneyed, rather is a total contrary putting us in conditions wev never introspected of.

We have dreams unfulfilled ,journeys aspired but not started .We repudiate to say that we choose  paths ourselves, but no one comprehends  that life leaves us in dilemma with no other option .We keep confronting people, some to let slip from memory and some to cherish always . Some gives us pale colorless marks that are wiped out easily 
& some gives us deep lucid that hangs with us never to leave. They’re coming or leaving makes us feel stranded on a deserted island for our entire life.
We are struggling constantly, struggling to achieve something but not our wishes. Our entire life stumps,trying to actualize them.Its too late when we realize that there's no time left for anything.We face challenges intricated and wieldy ,we have opportunities immense & minute,we slump,we move up,we learn and we grow.Small things makes us happy,big things makes us happy too but comes with compromises.We love someone but plan to spend our lives with someone else cause someone's ready to adjust and we are ready to accomodate.Old age makes us poised,youth makes us vehement, middle age makes us baffled. Each day we are battling, battling for our selves, competing on a routine basis. We hurt someone intentionally we love someone accidentally. The person we love never understands us, the person we hate understands us a little too redundantly.
Life gives us chances out of which we pick a few and leave a manyfold amount. In the end we only regret the chances wev lost.
This is what life totalizes to. Life’s really simple where as relationship's aren’t. However life does have its own quantum of joys and sorrows. Nothing remains for long & so does life. So appreciate it and do whatever makes you happy giving you enormous delight & revelry.

The Bulletined Psyched Manhood

I love weekends & in a country where 58% of population is directly or discursively working in private jobs weekends are bliss. I get up slow and head upright for my daily yoga concourse. I outset with a Surya Namskar, and suddenly discern how controversial yoga   these days is in news channel. While doing the Assans I take into recital which of them in anyway preaches anything even abutting to being religious. I take a lot of effort  to go into the remoteness  of each,  however abort  to understand how a physical workout  can orate  anything but  religion .It has nothing to do other than  refreshing body & soul and  giving some inner peace. Moving to the daily errands, I think of cooking something to cheat on, giving a complete gratification to my tongue too. I do think of the "Killer Maggi" but not in the sake of god even spell it out. Maggi is  meant only to kill rats & mices and nothing else(Byhearted).I follow the Media & the  horde and maneuver my mind to something healthier like  pasta(rather than the toxic  maggi).After all the stuffing and giving myself a break from the week long droning  diet,  I give  a call to an old friend in US. It’s always a joy to talk to someone so close to heart & yet so far. She said how desperate she was to visit us, but visa could be a botheration. I acquainted her how efficient our foreign department was these days .A mail to our honorable foreign minister could solve all hitches. However there  prompt work (which once was never expected), can be a reason for agony too. You need to fairly precise  on whom you are helping, cause  any high profile business man/religious guru can call for all the unwanted attention .After a long rap session  I take a bath and went straight to kneel down  in front of the almighty,  thank him for  all  the endurance to riot for another week at work,  and to handle a  Dracula in the cloak  of a boss .In the midst of my list of prayers, I  notice that the sai baba frame looked a little over sized for the temple and was somehow accommodated  to fit in there.As i elited  and tried to align it somewhere in the drawing room,I hear a yammer  from  husband  as to why was I  being partial  under the  influence of all the hullabaloo  of sai being god or not. I take a sigh to turn and say “Last thing that can happen to me was, getting influenced by this peeved news channel & if that would have been the case the first thing I would have replaced was not Sai baba but --- Leave :)

As I was thinking of wrapping half the day and planning to visit a friend, suddenly I hear a roaring  sound to which I creep under the table considering another earthquake plunges in completing the series of earthquake happening .I rush to hide inside the bed, while my husband is jolted and looking for cockroaches (since that has a similar effect as earthquake on me).However we burst out laughing when we grasp that it wasn’t the  earthquake but  the neighbors above trying to execute something everyday  .What is prudent in all this is that wev become so  readily clouted ,galvanized with  daily bulletin .The most  Torment part is, when you have a family member who is habitual  in inspecting  news on a repeated  basis &  for hours. Sometimes it’s bothering at a level when the same news goes on with three different aspects in three different Channels. I remember my dad asking me the Third question when I told him that I wanted to marry this guy. “Beta I hope he doesn’t watch or read newspaper for too long & in the jiff of being in love I said "No”. Now I realize that parents have a perspective so luminous to reality that it  is moulded to fit in future so well.

The live broadcasts dominates us so badly that we start intertwining & being reliant that all good, bad, true or false are been seen from there context.   A day is wrecked abruptly, affecting us introspectively with everything we do. .It’s vital to be cognizant about the happenings, but being aware is more than enough & you hardly get anything by seeing the howling and screeching on a rather baseless subject.

Being communal is something that comes in our kitty inherited & genetically inclined right from the time of our forefathers. It’s always been significant in Indians & Indian politics. However its  comical  & sometimes irking  to see this on a mundane basis .We talk of India being America someday, but dude Americans never in their dreams will  blame a farmers death, a women rape or even a Exercise session to be Hindu,muslim or  Christian.

I can never change the mindset of this world but at least pray for these news hefty creatures in the name of husbands, who in the world think that just news shouldn't be left that way, rather digging the mystery behind a known or rather obscure issue is imperative. If I have the superpowers to recall this birth in my next, I would surely want a husband no matter how ugly, lethargic or poor he is to not be a news crazy lunatic.:)

The Disheveled Love :)

What is Love?

A Child: When Mamma gives me lot of chocolates & Toys (the cutest kind)

A school girl: Love & break ups Hurts, heart aches, Bruises (And I’m ready for another one)

A teenager: Being attracted to another person, whether it be emotionally, and mentally, but physically as well. You feel like you connect with them a lot. Even though we fight in relationships, it makes it stronger. You’re missing them when away without talking with them for a while, and they're always on your mind
(Bla Bla it’s more like “Of course I love you...Until I find someone better")

A  College going Adult: I believe it is a purpose to live for, Love is an intense desire to protect another, Desire to be with them, Bringing joy to them (And I’m ready to permanently hook up because I have roamed the planet & I never in the world would marry the choice of my parents)

An Elderly Person: It’s a spiritual connection with another person like love for God (Ya ya after going through all above youl be concluding on this now)

The context of love is wrong & misinterpreted, we are only able to connect it with the one whom we wish to make ours, and our paradoxical Sex.Love subsequently after this one relation is not conveyed. The reasons vary ranging from the stiff costumed society where showing love is still a disregarded word. We don't show it too our parents for we feel we are sophisticated individuals, who don't have any urgency to do this. We don't show it to our friend cause the psyche self admiration creeps in, we don’t parade to our life partners cause again we are shy & reluctant to & we don’t need to (They are already ours), We don’t show it for our country cause we look ancient displaying it. We fail to understand that the love for our lover is so superficial, which is either for a need physical & mental, also for the insecurity that they are not compelled or rather necessitated being ours. The relations were we are compelled we hardly care cause we are cognizant of their going nowhere. We live in a greedy world & we the greedy creatures living with greedy motive and greedy persona. We think only about ourselves chasing for what we don’t have & always taking for granted what we have. Love too is poisoned with the pool of narcissism.

It’s extremely traumatic to see the varying atrocities that love goes through .A 22 year old girl tried to commit suicide & the reason is startling & poignant one. She was jilted by the boy for whom she had been crazy for last 5 year’s .Her parents should have killed themselves, because there 22 year old profuse love was scorned for a 5 year old partisan affiliation. They are Sick people, need to get counseled & educated on how a physically impaired woman not able to run or do any normal activity should have killed herself, when she got conscious with it. We have more pragmatic logic to destroy the valued mortal soul that we are so indiscreet about. A 16 year old boy falls in love with his first cousin sister, and is planning to run from home to have a better future (better or a worse one?), A 46 year old women confesses she was in love with a 20 year old boy who was his sons friend (Reaching the epitome of psychos must say).It’s crucial that apart from sex education, people need to be disciplined on what the disillusioned and actual love is.

Love is an overstated phenomenon which has been hyped since decades. Though the modern times have taken it to the level of pudginess & dowdiness. If anyone is sad the first logic that springs up is "Heart Broken” .I mean guys there are more sensitive issues to be sad about. Why so much of Dramaturgy? Love is a scarce feeling, that at some or the other point transpires and is beautiful to experience. Please let it be a one in a life time experience. Love is not about running from home, or falling for any road side intruder, love is about emotions, the same that we have for our beloved clan of people. There is this one person for whom we would love to be a better person, to care & to be cared for, to be understood & to understand. That is the reason they say that we don't fall but rise in love. Loves more than taking is about giving, cause Giving has its own charm for the person whom we are so much in awe of.

Of The Society,For the Society,By the Society :)

We aren't whom we want to be. We are what society demands. We are what our parents choose. We don't want to disappoint anyone .We have a great need to be loved. Thus the light of our dreams turns into the monster of our nightmares. We are puppets of our destiny. My entire life I haven't come across anyone who is completely gratified with his sentience or the kind of life he is living. Nor have I found someone   whose dreams have transpired to legitimate arenas. We are slaves, slaves of others wishes.

Suruchi a friend of mine bought up in a middle class was always a great performer in school and college, but more than academics it was her singing that stole the show. She had dream't of being a national level singer someday. We without doubt considered it rampant in her, since she had that determination and a voice that could give a run for money to any ardent singer. We lost touch after college & I met her after 7 years in a UCB outlet in Gurgaon. Astounded  and elated to find a old friend the thing that  disappointed me was that she had left singing right after college, and was working in a IT company as a software analyst. It’s been years since she sang. Inquisitive about why she left  something she had been so ardently passionate about .She justified  with a despaired voice that her parents never wanted and were able to convince her that once she is done with establishing a career(academics was the only bright career option for them ), she can always go for music. Since then Music has only been a hobby (with the blaze gone) for entertaining friends & relatives. At last what she told me gave a nudge to write this, "Rika what I am doing today I’m working hard for it, but in no way it makes me contented or gives me a sense of gratification of doing something for myself, its only for the happiness of my parents that I’m dragging my life, with a smile on my face & an impulsion to follow.

 It’s not about   Luck (as most people say "his karma is strong enough to allow him do what he wants") but being gutsy enough to be able to elect what we'v  always wanted to do & be victorious at the same time. I don’t think the percentage would be more than 1 out of a 1000 for those lying in this paradigm. It’s true that our parents have a great portrayal in clinching whats favorable and not for us. However the deciding body should be reviewed after a few years, so that children get to make use of their minds & interest & do what their inner soul wants them to. A Gay friend of mine has always been struggling with the god given hormone and the society depicting hormone of the  straight kind. He knows the society is never going to discern, rather if they get to cognize the fact he would be a target of this superficial civilization. The decision he took was a daring one he portsided home, and went to a far away city found a job there and is happily settled. A great decision of not  marrying under the pressure of  the society  and wrecking two peoples lives was taken .We have dreams not done, possibilities not fulfilled. In India where we are so much suppressed by each other’s desires, not realizing that we make decisions in fear of  being compared & dismaying our parents .We tend to chase the masses (cause that's safer) then forging our choices .

Our parents, our society have a great role in setting names for each phase of life. Anybody who demarcate from this is referred as an immoral & indecent creature, not abiding and obeying the fundamental rules set & followed by generation after generation. But has anyone ever thought that ultimately when we die our wishes, our aspirations is inhumed with us, and ultimately turns into ashes and condenses. Guys I know it’s rather a brave soul who takes not to abide and does something exceptional to fulfill his dreams. Wed be rather surprised to know some of these wishes like choosing a career in photography or acting, Being a spinster entire life, not having kids are so bona-fide yet not contemplated in a noble social order.

I have been an obedient & civilized citizen, always consenting & enduring the path chosen by the society ,getting married and have been stagnantly following the benchmark or rather the criterion  set to be a cultured human soul.I want a phase in my life may be a sudden  few years, where i get to do whatever i want  to. I want to learn guitar, I want to get myself certified in Mountaineering, I want to learn sky diving ...I want to, I want to, I want to. I want to spread my wings & fly, fly with all my dreams that Iv longed for & wished for. After that when I’m gone, there would be no regrets. No regrets, since I have seceded all society norms & been a freebie rather then a patterned modeled soul. I promise that day will come soon, very soon.

The Big Girl Syndrome

I'm back from office  plunged on the treadmill sweating and vexing .I tend to  shed those kilos that have grown with the love bestowed from gulping my favorite cuisines.I exercise till i feel overworked  and starving.The next thing i do is gorge on to some  bread mayonnaise(A guilty meal), but i think iv already remunerated with all  the perspiration. The Increasing hip line &waist line are a curse when u see all those skinny celebrities flaunting their body, with above the knee& below the neck  skin tight clothes.I have hung a poster of  Scarlett Johnson to keep me motivated & induced whenever i'm bequeathing.I am a  women who   rose from a healthy 55kg's to a paunchy 80kg till the age of  23.I was  back to 60kg till 26. I  very well  understand the strife a obese girl goes through.My parents were worried with the number of ailing issues i was going to clench , while  i was worried about my  prince charming.Leave alone  matching my sandals he wont even take the initiative of marking my existence .The innumerable drawbacks were clearly a indication of a fatty me,but all the sacrifice &  dedication put together  aided  me lose the bulge swaying away all  Pizzas,Muttons,chinese for a sufficing  long time from my life.

It has become a trend to have a size 10 (once which was considered skinny) regardless of the age you are.In the present scenario you cannot conclude who is mom and who is daughter looking at their physical presence.Power yoga,Pilates,Jazz  all modern weight loss  techniques  have come up to  fight for all  pizzas & burgers we'v satiated ourselves with.I feel sympathetic towards all  beefy ladies who have genes that transpires even water to  fat's not leaving any room for mercy .These days one of the preferred topic for ladies is The BMI quantification.A day before a friend said she was 32 years  but the BMI test showed her weight to be of a  22 year old(the smoke fuming from others).Hearing this the Pumpkin ladies were irking and twitching  their  fitted  clothes , showing the bulged fat everywhere. The ludicrously amusing  experience of the "weight watch" situation is seen in the  health club.Mrs kashyap is running on the treadmill, she has  been successful in curtailing a whooping  10 kgs weight in 3 months.Inspired by her Mrs chatterjee joins the bandwagon, where shes absolutely sincere  for  2 days & the third day she expects atleast 3kgs  to be less.By the fifth day she visits here just for the sake of a Gym Kitty.Something similar happens in the swimming pool.Ladies of the  size of elephant enter the pool with all determination.What they don't  understand is half of the public is petrified  that the pool will be  empty once they are  in there .This is not to annoy any of my chubby cute Friends rather a humour in a direction of what they expect and what we see.Being fat is not a crime &  i very well  know how difficult it can be at times when most of the public is half of your size.

People have to accept the fact in a country which is so overtly obsessed with the word "Fat" you would be a matter of target every place that you go to.Fat girls get peeved every time they shop .The salesman at the shopping store gives all the mercy looks considering nothings gonna fit you except  the Extra size ones.They endeavor to fit in all the clothes worn by their favorite skinny stars unless you are a Adele or a Jessica Simpson fan.(you can have some relief).When you visit a restaurant or a dinner invitation its so  preconceived & evident   that you will be eating for two..You look with the gushy eyes to all the good looking & personable men since you know they are never going to check you unless  he has a different understanding altogether & liking for  (you are Arpita Khan) Fat Fleshy girls.
Guys  being fat is not a disease unless it hits you mentally or physically.A skinny girl or a black girl or a too fair girl,or too short or  tall has to go through the same state except different situations.Hence to hell with the world just live your life and eat, drink and merry around if your happy. Its only when you feel uncomfortable  in your skin should you think of changing yourself .Otherwise whoever talk's about slimming down  or dieting  just chow down on him too.

p.s-All my heavy friends this article only pertains to the Double XL People and not the large or XL ones.So stop cursing me & relax. love you all ;)

I Eat Steak ,I Eat Ham & if you stop Me Il Eat You Too :)

Recently i did nothing enthralling for myself or the society in general.As usual media kept me persevering with unfitting news & coverage. The  Deepika padukone "my Choice "Video was recently in great public glare.Enough has  already been said about it & I'm not her to talk about any of the choices pertaining to  women rights  or empowerment . Iv got  a more scorned & subdued topic to talk & classify in the list of my choices.It is to be  " vegetarian" or "non vegetarian".We are a  country contemplating  as  developed country & a Rising global space power .Inspite of this we are still  caught between the Go green or the Eat Flesh Syndrome.

 Half of north indians are ardent vegetarians  while the other half consist of cannibals who have saliva even seeing a hen alive.Thank god i  am hedged by the later catagory of people who can   munch on anything &  everything .I tend to act appreciating all vegetarians ( rather sympathizing)but  never in the world undestood as to why,why do  they want to live? i mean for us non vegetarians, happiness means fish curry ,birthday means chicken pizza,fairwell means kadhai mutton,shaadi means chicken biryani so when theirs happiness there's flesh.Hailing from eastern part of india, my tongue   keeps moving to the fish curry,Chilly prawns & Fried Lobsters .We contemplate the navratras more like a 8 days mourning  session  & the fast done is more for flushing out the last  stock so that the fresh stock can be piled  on.

These days People are displaying  there drift towards vegetarian food, calling it  healthy & nutritious.For god sake people,  when is grass and leaves healthy.We eat who eats them so we are super healthy ofcourse(if thats the  logic u understand).We are celebrity crazy fellas who miniature everything they do.We will  join PETA to imprint them & continue the trend(It sounds like in vogue  " i am lover of animals and so a vegetarian  & a part of   PETA too") .One thing is for sure  u dont know (kareena kapoor must be gorging  on chicken biryani, I mean whose their too see) & secondly dont you remember how they  freaked out when   the Beef ban transpired.Loving animals dosen't mean each and every specific kind(u dont love sea cucumbers,scorpions) just  like loving people in general dosen't mean each and everyone.Moreover if killing animals is bad, then why are plants  meant to be crucified.Plants too are loved by many.Why eat vegetables when you love plants?Forthrightly no paneer,tofu,dals & green veggies can ever quench  you the way meat does.If youv never in your life tasted flesh ,i  feel pity for not having  known the  value of mortal human soul.The mere existence of human kind is to enjoy all pleasures bestowed on earth & One of the many  pleasure is nibbling NV.

There is one most interesting category of people whom I call semi vegetarians.Reason to call them  is they eat  nonvegetarians but don't want to be called one.A  social tabooed  country which claims to  being broad minded & liberal .Why on earth is it a  sin to eat meat.Din't  all gods accept sacrifices &  Undoubtedly they din't  sacrifice leaves & flowers .So dont  ever talk about  mythology for reasoning  your nasty thinking.Our taste buds are ours and mark me you do  have a pathetic one if you akin  grasses & leaves.Iv been staying in haryana for last 3 years, one thing i deter understanding that people here claim to be staunch vegetarians however the interpretation is different.It means you can eat outside but not at home.They somehow dont wont to be called nonvegetarians and can neither  resist eating meat.Analogous to  Sex discrimination,menstrual taboos,Homosexuality, Being  nonvegetarian too is considered a matter of social stigma.I  get a thunderbolt to see so many North Indian Women considering  it a  sin  to be catagorized as one.

  People please do eat if you feel like, if someone stops you in the name of  religious offense or being  socially inferior or unhealthy,  a straight punch on his face is what needs to be done.Be a vegan or a nonveg just for your own sake.As for me, i totally feel your missing a glimpse of heaven if your not gorging on one.

P.S Non vegetarians are considered violent too and  believe me  peace  is  the synonym of  me  :)

Always Good ,Always Sane &........Always Online !!

The other day my cook came early and we had a conversation realising the after effects later.

cook:DIDI What do i cook today?

Me:(My eyes immersed on the mobile screen) Check the fridge and make whatever lies there?

Cook: Theres only palak(my husband hates it), & aloo(i hate it) here

Me:(Still Glued to the screen)Make it & im stuck on the phone for the next 1 hour on group chat, with people I haven't met for long and may not meet them in future either.

After an hour i debut of the fools paradise and come to the offline world.To the utter catstrophe, I find a vegetable that could neither be eaten by me or my husband.It sounds sloppy but we are all caught in a stigma, gripped in the tomb of social media where we shank joke of someone or ourselves.

Recently the worldcup happened to which india faced a massive defeat from the aussies.These Matches have been happening since years but such a halla ballo has taken place with the augmentation of the love for Fb & whatsapp . Earlier the game was watched and forgotten in a day.Today Cyber storm has taken it all to a antithetic level.The team and their flings are roasted & bamboozled in videos,pictures,texts everywhere.All this dosent end here but is carried on for another lifespan unless some amusing subject comes up.

It sounds erroneous, but our lives appear superficial & synthetic, were we are doing things to boast & exhibit to others rather than our selves.We appear being caught in a dogma , giving some lame excuse for using word "social" then media to make a habitude of something diseased.Being social would never mean using fb or whatsapp rather a simple text or a call would be better.

My lovingly husband's routine includes 9 hours in office & 6 hours on whatsapp , indeed he has a world of reasons to give for this ailing obsession.My younger female cousins who are in college discuss everything from boys,fashion,books & the entire planet on wass app.I was amazed to find her teaching maths sum's to her friend on what's app.We are so reliant on these apps today that it could be a matter of life & death for us if shutdown.We have reached a stage when if the closure happened it could lead to brain malfunctioning where everybody would be turning into freebie zombies doing nothing.

The flashbacks takes us back to when Birthdays meant getting a call from everyone including those whom distance was just a call away.Wev lost the beauty of talking & listening .From marraige proposals to child birth news , Obituary news to consolation all have been acknowledged only being online .Emotos sticker have become our feelings & we are oblivious about turning into robots who use text & stickers to convey our motility.

Family Disputes are these days showcased through status messages .It appears strange how people are so keen to flag there personal life's , our private lives are no more private. One crazy incident was when a distant cousin of mine had to deliver her baby.Her husband recorded her predeliver actions, and made a video to exhibit on social sites.The video featured her screaming & yelling in labour pain & all I could do was recollect the movie "maniac on the loose"(for the husband) .There are times when sitting in a room with four friends, whom we have been desperate to meet and talk to all this while.When finally together we are buried in our whatsapp with some other's.We have 500 friends on our network and not one whom we could pour our hearts out to.When we are with this we are talking to that and its vis a vis . Iv met a few people who keep refreshing Wass app after every thirty minutes to check all heart breaks & Heart mend status messages.So people we are not social, rather dingy stalkers sitting futile and sneaking everywhere but our own lives.Whatsapp is taking a toll in our life's mentally & we dont realize but slowly and steadily wev been drowning in the never ending Atlantis pothole .

Our ancestors had tail but they never used it , eventually the later generation did not have it, likewise get set for a generations subsequently being born dumb.People pursuing outdoor activities would be given national & international awards .I truly & genuinely long for a day, when the government banishes all social networking sites, for the world to be a better place more natural & normal like the 70's & 80's.Guys if u think whatsApp is taking a toll on u, making ur lyf confined to the online world just delete,delete the god damn account and see what  beauty  are you missing in  life.

Ding Dong the Witch errr i mean the boss is here!!

" An Evil Boss",The one supreme being who has the same impact on our life that  a Black cat crossing ones path or 13th Friday has .They have the power to ravage our worlds with a pinch of salt..We are in a game of   treasure hunt,where the treasure is hidden  inside the crocodiles mouth.   In My Entire work experience i have had around 8 different bosses(fortunate me),  most of them were either lunatics or looked like straight out of the era of the Apache's..We  detor ourselves to be rowdy & aggressive, but that is   when they take  the nerves out of us.We are  hardworking individual, that doesnt mean ul put a straw and suck our blood(in any case u are a Dracula).Their evilness comes in its full power when your appraisal arrives .Their comes such kokky reasons for not being  aprraised,  like once I was told  that    the table wasnt  alligned properly  during the training session(Sick*)or because u wore a red polish in your office, decent professional women dont do this .At the time of appraisals We are actually summoned for all the erratic,Crafty reaons that sounds like a  staright smack on your face.You become a puppy eyed poverty stricken fellow, looking for all the world's mercy begging  for all your fictitious  evil deeds.

 My First boss  was a  pout oval   faced & dome shaped women  with  long littered hair & a nonsensical  dressing sense .The most bizarre part  about her was  a flashbulb memory that was a pain for everyone.She  had a  wreckless attitude which was a little too much  on mondays (what we assumed was because of her wrestled sundays with her husband) & was a psycho too( psychos fill notebooks with newspaper headlines).The  trip  with her was a short one(i was truly blessed!!) , considering the unbalanced lady she was.The next was Shukla ji (a nasty kinky fellow ) who had all sort of  outrageous  cheesy lines in store  from "manorama magazine"  & who  utilized  it every now & then .What irritated most about him was, after 15 years of working he had no inkling of  how to create a zipped folder.A person with an unchangeable mindset considered  working  more on papers than latest technology("Hum longon ko  ye hi-Tech cheezein samjh nehi aati" Grrrrrrr).The third was a  women with  authentic haryanvi accent & taste.With a  voice  that simulated  a bunch of wrestlers & a manlike body  fitted in  Salwar Kameez, working under her  was  like  a monarchy where  the   slaves are at bay to  follow orders .The definition of Modernized  for her was never about looking or feeling good,but how bloomingly are  you able to dictate your subordinates & seniors.The last  but the most alluring one  was a less brutal  but   a lustful maniac, who was always  in search for his prospective bride(bonker**).Such was the anxiety that it always was  a discomfit situation for all his spinster  subordinates.A Lewd man, whose position gave him a lot  of  scope for new recruits & who went a little too far with all the hanky panky stuff   ;).

Ya people  they were my bosses & they havent arrived in a UFO or from kingseat Hospital but hail  from this real world.I doubt if any of  these  bosses may  make a  human remain normal   throughout their life.  To save ourselves  from such strenuous situation, we need to understand what type of crazy person are we dealing with & secondly  establish boundaries to save our own right-mindedness.Moving the radar to the culprits i say that   my  Respected  Bosses, You have full privileges  to complain about all wrongs but please  dont rule us.We are here working for the organisation as you and are getting paid as you.We would love if its kept that way and not make it a constant battle so that both of us remain sane & professional throughout the journey.....Thankyou!! :)

Excuse Me ,you dont know me,but why are you still single?

I never understood my country's obsession with marital status and  having kids .Its contemplated as  a misdeed after 30 to stay single or without kids .Ours is  a  modern, yet puzzled  society ambushed between modernity and stagnation.  The norms for these factors  have been laid  & followed since  medieval period,  the  aunties  who are the Marraige & maternity Policy administartion Head have taken the burden to see that they are meticulously followed .Anyone whose not abiding by the norms get a verbal  memorandum issued at all social functions .

  A few days back  while attending   a marraige ceremony an aunt   of a friend of mine asked the but obvious question "beta shaddi kab hui? and i with a expected reply  answered "aunty three years back  " and then i get a  preplex  expression with  "beta  have kids den other wise it will be late in life ...we are there too look after the baby  ? and with a smiling lips i am   Like  "Aunty why dont you get a life,and if you dont have one let me have one(Ofcourse i dint say this but this was what was  going in my head).One thing i would  surely love to do, bring the baby  and hand over to the aunty since  she was so  keen to look after. These aunties  have  pestered  with aforesaid questions again &  again .To accord I  too have prepared myself with some amusing answers   & once when asked i was like "Who knows  may be im pregnant?"& the best one  was   "could you draw a picture of how to get one" ;P

 The frivolous Sharma & Verma Aunties care for the entire worlds marraiges & Kids rather there own.They  have a 500 page novel written on suggestions & are prepared to hold a chalk talk anywhere .It gives them  a mammoth of  pleasure, contributing to people whom they are meeting for the first & may be the last time. What they dont understand is that why,Why the hell  would we listen to you when we dont even know u.

I met an  unexampled women who was a distant cousin Aunt of mine & this was my third meeting with her in my thorough  life.The entire evening she interpreted   that how she gave birth to her 5 kids  within 10 years before she turned 30.What could have been the backlashes if   she would have delayed .She feared that she would have  just had 2 girls and the other sons sonu monu & nonu  would have never been born since later she was detected with a cyst .What i thought was  "Aunty wish u would have stopped on the second so the world would have been saved from the 3 unruly punks of yours  .

  Dear Aunties, we beg you to sympathize with us ,We love kids and would love to change diapers &  have one.We very well understand all repercussion attached to everything since we are well educated & informed  individuals .Somehow pistering us in every social function, just worsens the idea of going out there & listening to those who hold least importance in our lifes.So please take a break  and have fun with your children & Grand children pouring  them with all opinions & Guidance  that you have in store.And if they  successfully   follow  even one of them  then  you may please go gaga about it rather then feeding on our brain cells  :)

Planet of the Dipsomaniac

Hey all I'm back on the blog after a longlong  time and this time the topic is an extremely  contentious one."the planet of the alcoholics" .Wait a minute when we talk about alcoholics are we referring to the ones who are casual  drunkers  or who drink sometimes or ones who drink but don't want to be called drunkers or who drink only in night or who drink only in day or who drink the whole day.pheeeww confused actually as these questions actually boggle your mind and literally bewilder you when you dont know them. Brought up in sober family with most of non drunkers have always contemplated boozing as a Sin A crime that is performed by Illiterate,Poor .Extreme Rich who have no inkling as to what they want in life or the  the middle class heartbroken ones pissed of from love,life & the whole universe.
Ok so i do watch a lot of hindi movies since i was a Lad & was totally inspired & thus most of the inferences of particular genres was drawn from their.

Then came the youth my late teens and early twenties.i was bound to behave in a sophisticated yet a fully fledged human who   was able to fit in the aristocracy of my the polite yet meant to be loud society.Boozing was not done for self but for the society rather.We desire to Flaunt how practicable we are who is Twenty but act like thirty year old.Not Drinking at all  is considered Backward or rather a person who takes a back seat in Life. Inspite of all these pre requisites i was still a cold sober women(Ya i wanted to be called one in my early twenties) though the Dismay i faced was lesser cos The Hindi Movies can be wrong a lot of times :D.I started observing a lot of Dipsomaniacs and found one thing universal that they all can be big time Liars.And that they are always in their senses.'When we make mistakes, activity in a part of the brain responsible for monitoring behaviour increases.When we say some can handle it some cannot actually everyone can handle it but some just dont want to follow the carbon routine.

 Surely your Central nervous System gets all Baffled when we  drink but all that comes out is never new rather the past that we have masked  .The supreme segment  about drunkers is when they are all together the earth comprises of  only those fewer lot drunk and everyhting has started from niche & everything they say ought to be true & everything is just how they want.But  heloo to all my not so sober friends  when its nothing in its exterme its just fine.Some people translate beautifully after gulping  a few glasses & thats the best part &  so i Love you all.My  perception of Drinking has surely metemorphised and now  though i dont  personally  drink but love spending a certain fraction  of my life with them.I surely do :)

Girls Paradise-Shopping Insanity

I have never felt like this in any given circumstance or condition but there is something about this one thing that acts like a Thai Spa session or an Aroma therapy. No No  i'm not referring to any yoga session  or a  meditation session but to the highly significant Shopping session. It may sound a bit weird  to the Men out there   but its the only stress buster for us  . I know that every single women starting from the age of 16 to 100 would feel the same cause when it 's shopping Age has no boundaries
                     I may be sounding like the "Appu From the Simpsons" but it is  the case with every  women  who always spends far more then she earn's. All Thanks to the modern banks providing the credit card facility which acts as a bliss making all of this possible. Though I can say  that after every credit card bill we pay we swear on our mothers -fathers -husbands to shop half of what we did last month. However it has never been that it would ever have shown a certain increase in our savings account. There's one thing which I need to tell here is that though im  showing so much of negative side for the women as if they are the only one to be blamed.Let me make it clear it's   never the fault of us but always the moron branded companies providing these amazing accessories & making   us accessible  all those that priyanka chopra or Kristen Stewart was wearing on the page 3 cover ,the latest movie or those parties Why?Why?Why? Those out of the world designer dresses that we get at such reasonable prizes(10000 bugs is reasonable if it was worn by Katherine Heigl in Roswell).And those Shoes. Those very amazing colorful pointed stilettoes that makes us looks damn tall & sexy  can never in my dreams think of missing .No Not in the world. There is always this outrageous feeling that if Priya,Sonali,Rea,Ritu(name's of some of my other crazy shopaholics buddies)  if any of them sets eyes on  and buy it before me. I in my imaginary world reach to the place where I see my other alcoholistic ladies bulging and flaunting them .I actually am scared of that aftermath  regret feeling........ that feeling of remorse, sorrow & guilt of not picking the master piece before.

  The  grave momentous  of this utterly significant hobby horse is when comes the most awaited Discount season . The period when we believe to have some pity for our savings account and to save (be careful reading we wish to only, though we never save) .The moment we enter those large sprawling malls and see the price reduction on all our favorites brands which we could buy once in a month or twice may be Charles & keith,Hide design, ALDO,  Gucci, Versace, Nautica and the list goes on and on. Those flat 50%  & how those 4 letter word "FLAT" the significance they have in our lives only heaven & Earth could understand.We are Drawn like bees to honey to everywhere these superlative words appear. We shop Shop Shop and finally we end up shopping 5 times more then we shopped in last  6 months.

You know what......... we do understand everything of that written above & we know in our heads that we are spending way much.Our hearts which is the most Zealous organ makes it all in vain and how  contented & gratified we are after a long shopping session is it only  the heart  knows. It takes away all distress, Heartache ,Pain & gives a sense huge blissfulness. And that's what's more Important to Live, Right??

 So all women  carry on with this hideous job And Live Life to the fullest :) SSSSHHHOOOOPPPP

Micro World to Bigger Globe

 I hail from a small town called Jamshedpur which is a small city in the east state of India.Its been almost 7 years since iv left home & moved to metros to make a career .In the midst of all this got married & Im now a member of this metro city.When I was small I always had this thought of staying in the best city with all aminities.Never thought of the world outside unless & until was actually a part of it.Iv seen girls go crazy and acting weird once they come from a small town to a metro.As if they were criminals imprisoned for life sentence & because of some good deed they are granted an earlier leave .

         It may sound a bit of rude for few but this is a fact experienced specially within the female bracket.Thank God iv always been able to save my self from getting retarted by seeing all the space around. The other thing surprising is that once they land to a metro they remove the small town name from their history of personal Details.Is it a crime to be born in a small town ?? For me Its never about size of the place but the right values & culture that is embedded within you & resistance to stick to them that should be irrespective of any geography.

I had this friend of mine who was from a small but a beautiful city in northern India. However Every other person that she met she gave  name of some different metropolitan city. What I Never understood was if  it was that  serious  offence being from a small town??. This mind set is created by the small towners  who are quiet huge in number.Thousands of people come from different parts of India to study in metros and quite a few remain to their roots actually. They live their 60% life Ashamed...Embarrassed...Trying to shy away  this small town tag which is like a Red mark in their Life's Assessment sheet.

The Big Question is  Will there ever be a Paradigm change to this?????Waiting to see that but haven't met anyone who could change the notion.


            

Introvert-Not My attrribute

Ok so Iv Been dealing with this set of people falling under the category of "Introverts".Earlier I had a feeling of Falling under the same category but as iv grown iv found my self better  than that  or may be evolved in years. As a child I had fewer friends,felt butterflies talking to teachers, Bizarre thoughts came when a extempore session was conducted. I use to shy away from many of my own relatives. Wait a Bit!!!......There is another thought to the same that I did have few but very good friends whom I had an open heart for. There were these category of people whom I could talk till hours and laugh my heart out. Infact for them the word "Introvert"could never go with me. Were these people Extrovert or was I somewehere in the middle.

      Today when I think about the same I feel good because when those people who had seen me from those Introvert eyes are confused & Surprised to be find me better. Though today I am the same  I do get those same shy feeling when talking to someone new . In these 10 years iv learned that there are many who may not fit in your "comfort zone category but we need to adjust "That's Life".Though I would  be lying when I say that "iv an open heart to everyone".No I Don't & Wont ever. Today also I keep getting taunts for not speaking to a certain set of people whom I don't consider that important  to me

 
 

To start with whats On My Mind

Ok so its been a huge day for me hectic, challenging, chaos, confusion, fun and yes how can I forget to mention erratically long.SO the topic I want to start off with is EGO. The one word that rules most of the men and women today where we have to either show that we are superior or the evil that creeps causing a turbulence in each one of ours life.

so the past six months I really did nothing concrete with respect to society's agenda of moving forward. But yes, I will not deny saying that I know myself way more than ever. Not only that , I know people more than ever.I recently figured out that if I can irritate myself at times then how do i blame others who ever fought with me.There have been times I never knew that I would be this bad.But sometimes felt that there were circumstances or the state of mind that had caught me there. The question  creeps my mind Day in & out  is Do I need to change? should I bring changes in my trait that has been causing problem to others?Yes I Do.
Our EGOs makes us one of those monsters the witch ,the Hindi serials type.But are we really concerned.We fight, we argue with our most near and dear ones and the biggest grievance is we keep rubbing our hands with that guilt feeling .The good keeps telling "Ya you should go .They have been your buddy you cannot stay a day without  & the other side the Evil "EGO"keeps howling"How can u even think of.I mean u are the Master Of the universe,The Queen,The Care Taker or the Evil Care taker.
        I keep thinking should I call him ,should I say sorry but than I think  the other way round BIG Deal!!Why cant I get a call or may be the creepy feeling "Will the person pick  the phone or not". And suppose  that if he doesn't I whose "Thee Queen Elizabeth"(that we believe we are) would have lost her dynasty.We don't realize that by realizing our mistakes we would not be  massacred.
   One unique characteristic about ego is that you know the other person doesn't want to talk to you(because of all the tongue lashes & Middle Finger) and for you he's still that important and you want to reach to  the same one whose hurt you no oops** your ego right??
 We fail to realize that these are those relations built fort life whom we can not let go and not for our Big E.G.O. We the educated ones fail to realize that what's lacking is transparency...we need not open everything about each other but at least tell each other what we  feel